Letting Go
by MyUsernameIsAlwaysTakenToo
Summary: SPOILERS FOR THE FINALE. 4x23 - Always. Just a theory I had earlier, so I wrote it down. Basically what happens after Beckett is on the roof.


**For Emily, because you loved my random theory so much that I decided to elaborate.**

**Disclaimer: If i owned it, i would a) be rich and b) have made this happen long ago.**

**but its stuck in never-gonna-happen-the-way-i-write-it-land**

**Ps- for those of you following "Unexpected Arrivals," I'm SO sorry. I'll be done with school and then I'll have more time to work on it. I hate to post a new story when i have an incomplete one, but I had to get this out.**

**Enjoy :)**

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She felt a sharp pain as his elbow connected with her back, knocking her to the ground. Surprisingly, the rough hands of her assailant were already on her again. Before she knew it, she was flying toward the edge of the building, desperately reaching for her last chance of life. Managing to catch herself with both hands, she started to pull herself up. Just as her elbows began to bend, her right arm buckled and fell to her side, leaving her hanging by four fingers. All she could do now was hold on. Hold on and pray to whoever would listen that she could live. But then she felt it. Sweat. Her hands would always sweat when she was scared. It had never been a problem until now, because now she was hanging by three fingers. Then she felt another slip. She knew she was going to die. Her entire life started replaying before her eyes, but it was all a blur. She could barely even make out her mother's face before it was gone. And then it slowed down. Every second of every minute was perfectly clear. Every moment since he entered her life.

"Rick..." She softly whispered as she prepared to meet her fate. Suddenly there was a voice. "Let go. C'mon, you gotta let go." Hearing those words, she snapped out of the little trance she was in and looked up to see Esposito holding her arm, trying to pull her up.

"Just let go, Kate. You'll be ok. I got you." So she let go, still confused and not fully aware of what was happening. Esposito hoisted her up and over the ledge, pulling her to safety. She stood there, shaking violently, no words coming to mind.

"You ok?" He asked, clearly concerned for her, a glimmer of fear still in his eyes.

"Yeah...um...I—I'm fine. Um, look I gotta go," she said as she headed for the door on her still-shaking legs.

"Beckett, you have to get cleared first. Come on it'll only take a minute."

She had always been a stubborn person, and her mind was made up.

"No, I can't. I gotta go-" he cut her off as he gently grabbed her arm.

"Kate. You were beat up and thrown off of a building. You need to get checked out."

"Javi, please. Just let me go. There's somethin' I gotta do."

She looked at him, pleading, begging him to let her go. He gave a slight nod and smile, releasing her arm.

"As you wish," he said, and she took off down the stairs.

Reaching her destination, Espositio's voice was still echoing in her ears. "Let go Kate, You'll be ok. Just let go." She was now walking quickly, not needing to look at where she was going. She had been there hundreds of times, if not thousands. As she continued walking, she pulled her mother's ring off of its chain and held it in a tight fist until she saw the name "Johanna Beckett" on the headstone. Absently fiddling with the ring, tears started slowly rolling down her cheeks. This was a symbol of what had been holding her back all these years, and she knew what she needed to do.

"Hey, Mom. It's me. I know...I know I haven't been around much lately. Its just...after I was shot, I needed to be alone...I needed to heal," she paused, taking a deep breath, trying to control her emotions.

"You remember Rick, right? I told you about when I met him, then all the times he saved me...I know I've said this before, but you would really, _really _have loved him, Mom. He's...well, he's something, that's for sure. It's funny. He's actually a lot like grandpa. Still a child at heart, you know? And he's always trying to annoy me. He loves making me crazy. But...He loves me, Mom. He wants to be with me. And I...I wanna be with him too. But I can't. Not when I'm so consumed by you. By your...your death. And I know if you were still here, you wouldn't want me to miss out on my life. Especially if it was because I was trying to make you happy. So, I'm not going to let it control me anymore. I almost died today...again...and I finally realized that I was so driven by my past that I forgot to think about my future. And I can't do that anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming you...but it's time. I have to let you go, Mom. I have to move on. I love you, Mommy. I love you so much." Finishing her conversation, she sighed and stepped forward, placing the ring on top of the headstone. She walked quickly to her car, knowing full well that her father always stopped by twice a week. He would get the ring.

She drove for a while, not really headed anywhere, just trying to think. Then she saw the swings. The same swings that she and Rick sat on after his book signing, tip-toeing around the topic of their relationship. She immediately headed to the swings, leaving her shoes in the car so she could feel the sand between her toes. She sat and slowly swayed back and forth, her mind racing, trying to figure out what to do next. She noticed that it had started to rain, but she didn't care. She needed to think. Maybe the rain would help clear her head.

Twenty minutes later it was pouring , anything that was currently outside stood no chance against the downpour. People were locked away in their homes, even in their cars, running away from the rain. But not her. She didn't move. Not yet. She still wasn't sure. She needed to be sure.

She couldn't remember leaving the park. She couldn't remember driving to Castle's building. She couldn't even remember taking the elevator to his floor. Yet here she was,walking down the hallway to his door. As soon as she saw it, she knew what she had to do. She relentlessly pounded on the door, not stopping until she heard the deadbolt click. It swung open, revealing a slightly irritated Castle. As soon as she saw his face, she sighed, fully releasing all of the tension from her mother's murder and her past three years with Castle. Reaching out with both hands, gently cupping his face and neck, she breathed "I love you, too," just before their lips melted together, each of them trying to convey their feelings through one kiss. He held her tightly, one hand behind her shoulders and the other pulling her closer by the waist. Pulling away long enough to take a breath, she whispered "And I _always_ will," before kissing him again, knowing that this time, she's never letting him go.

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_There are some things in life that you need to let go of. Old clothes. Jewelry. Sometimes even people. People die, and when they do, you have to let them go. Don't forget them, but don't let them hold you back. You will regret it later. Let go of the negative things. The hard parts, the bad memories. But cherish each moment. Live your life. But let go. Let go of your worries, your fears,and your anxieties. Let go of your sadness. Be you. Be happy. Be __free._


End file.
